My Academic Biography
“Dream big and dare to fail” – Norman Vaughn
When I think about my own academic journey, I think of Norman Vaughn’s words in the epigraph that apply to the big dreams that started my academic journey. Vaugh, who was an explorer, went to the South Pole in 1928 (Inspire My Kids, 2020). Though I didn’t go to the South Pole, I did start exploring the possibilities of going back to school. After a disastrous music teaching career, I wanted to go into a different line of work though I already had a bachelor’s degree. When I went back to UC, I registered as a math major. What I didn’t know was that I was going to rediscover my love for English in the very first quarter at UC. Going back to college at 35 taught me that failing in one place means possible success in another place.
I dared to dream big about studying math and science at the University of Cincinnati. At Cincinnati State Technical and Community College, five years prior, I did well in my math and science classes. With this confidence, I registered for three math classes, preparing to be a high school math and science teacher. In the first three weeks, I would spend hours doing the homework, reading the textbook closely, and going to each class. Despite my best efforts, I kept failing the exams. I clung to the memories from Cincy State where I did well, believing I would get back to my former glory.
In other words, going to class, taking notes, and meeting with the professor didn’t work for me, but I kept trying those strategies. My buddy Brad stopped coming to class, but he was doing well. He told me that he would do tutorials online and get tutoring. These strategies helped him get Bs on the exams (when accounting for the curve). His strategies and success did not persuade me to change what I was doing. As such, I kept failing on all of my exams. I let me pride move me further from my goals.
As it turns out, I had let pride get in the way of my goals. Though I’m not religious, I think Proverbs “pride cometh before the fall” applies here. On the last calc exam I took, I earned a 2/200 on the calc exam along with a note asking me to reconsider math as a major, further puncturing my pride. I wasn’t surprised about the grade. I froze on the exam and couldn’t answer any of the questions. I left the class early, humbled by the reality of my actions.
However, on that failing day, I also found that another dream came into view: I wanted to studying English and writing. As the cliché goes, it’s also darkest before the dawn. As I left the darkness of the calc class behind, I walked out into the sun as I walked to my library job. A smile lit my face. With the exam in my hand, I spotted a trash can. Looking at my hands and the darkness of the trash can, I tossed the failing exam away. I watched my math and science dreams fade, but I felt relieved that I could finally focus on writing, which is what I did when I wasn’t studying.
Thanks to failing a math exam and dropping two of my math classes, I started writing a lot more, which started jogging my memory about English. One night in the computer lab, I saw my buddy, Brad. He said he was struggling to analyze an article for his English. I told him I could help. First thing I told him: you can use anything as evidence that’s contained within the essay, which included the epigraph (opening quote) of the article. He said thanks. Then he went over and wrote the essay in about an hour. As I was leaving the computer lab, he told me to wait up. He followed me outside.
Before Brad and I talked outside, I had no idea that my dream of studying English would come into focus: I wanted to be an English teacher. When we got outside, I wasn’t prepared for what he was going to ask me, “what else do you know about English and writing?” I have no clear recollection of what I told him about English and writing. However, 30 minutes after I told him everything I knew; he told me something that I’d never forget: “I learned more from you about English in 30 minutes than I learned the entire time I was in high school.” At that moment, I knew I hadn’t failed at all—I found what I really wanted to study and do. In talking to Brad, I had taught another adult about writing. It felt amazing. Though this moment is one of many more that moved to being an English professor, I count it as the moment when I finally found clarity after months of feeling confused about my future as I failed my classes. By daring to fail, I ended up finding a much bigger dream of teaching English to adults and dream of researching and writing about STEM-related topics, such as public science writing and science denial.
